New relationships

by PRIYA MULJI

Imagine this, you’ve been single practically your whole life and suddenly you find yourself in a relationship. And it is getting serious. Like me, you’ll probably freak out.

In my 37 years of life, I’ve had two serious relationships and neither of them worked out. So, when you find yourself in a committed relationship and both equally love each other, the prospect of a long future ahead gets very real, and you have to start re-evaluating certain things in your life. Therefore, as I, the ultimate single girl Priya becomes not-so-single Priya and have started to think how my life has really begun to change.

First, I am totally freaking out. Who wouldn’t when all you’ve had is men dump you, ghost you, stand you up, cheat on you and turn out to be married? When you meet a good egg, you’re going to be worried that one of these things is going to happen. I think as long as you have open conversations about how you’re feeling and not be scared about being honest, you’ll be okay. Believe that it is real because what you put out to the universe; I believe you will get back.

My friends think I don’t call them enough and I constantly feel I am disappointing people. I post on social media less, so people think I’m going through something, but the reality is that I am just enjoying life. I’m living in the moment and not posting everything for everyone to see. I rarely get me-time amid seeing the fella, friends, family, working, writing, moving to a new house, going to the gym and staying sane in the me-time I do get. Me-time is important, especially when you have been independent for a long time, so be sure to factor in at least one night a week to yourself.

In the last couple of years, I had begun to think that maybe I had experienced my share of love. That I was never going to find love and should give up hope. But inside of me, somewhere there was this glimmer of hope and I met someone wonderful. He is someone who lets me be insane, encourages my writing and watches Bollywood even though he doesn’t understand Hindi (I’m Hindu Gujarati and he is Christian South Indian).

No relationship is perfect, and we’ve had our fair share of arguments. Compromise and listening are the key to building a foundation here.

I will leave you with a quote from CeeLo Green “Tolerance, compromise, understanding, acceptance, patience – I want those all to be very sharp tools in my shed.”

These words really sum up what I’ve learned over the last few months and are now my relationship mantra. Bring on a bright future for Asian Carrie Bradshaw and her desi Mr Big.